"Stop for a minute, think for a minute" was the lyrics of which have just faded out of my media player, as I started this blog. Very poetic as I try and fathom out where everything went wrong at work. I can pinpoint the moment, but that was in another school, that was another lifetime ago, that was another person. Even then, I did no wrong!! Nothing was ever proven!! I've tried and tried to make things work for me at this place. I accept that with all the staff being the staff I've worked with before, it's hard, but I don't deserve the way I'm being treated.
Whispers continue to flow around the school with regards myself, and it's only every now and again that I hear them, other times I don't and god only knows what is being suggested or said about me. Half of it will be fabricated of course, but that isn't problem, it's the fact that these whispers are going around school about me that's the problem. I'm all alone in this place, I don't seem to have anyone to whom I can turn too. It's not nice! I have people who I know I can talk too, but it's nothing like it was, and that's inpart down to myself, and part to them.
Anyway, my mum now knows that I'm looking for alternate work, but she's convinced it could be a bad move for me, yet she isn't the one who almost dreds going to work to see what the latest insult to me will be. I am trained to work with children, I've got more qualifications than some of the staff in that place, and yet I don't get a chance to do what I'm trained to do. I don't want to leave the school, as that's the area I wanted to work in, but when I'm being put upon like I am right now, it's a nightmare. I have no idea what to do. I'm lost in a circle of thoughts as to what I can do. I'm at the point where I feel like doing something really stupid to get sacked, just to get out of that place, with my head held high. When was the last time you heard someone declare they'd want to be sacked to leave with some sort of self respect?? Never I suspect.
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