Saturday, August 27, 2005

What Am I?

A week has gone since my last post, I don't really know why I've left it so long, but I did and it wasn't good.

Right now this post will be short. I'm so down on myself, I could do with some help to restore my self confidence, my self belief that I am human. I feel like everyone considers me a freak, I'm not, but that's how it feels.

I feel I'm ugly, I feel I'm fat, I feel that everyone laughs at me. I'm so self conscious that it's unreal. I am worthless, I can't recall the last time I got a compliment, and that hurts. I must be shit, I must be ugly, I must be everything that I feel is wrong with me.

I've given myself some time and space and it's not worked. That word that people use, the L _ _ E word I can't bring myself to say about myself, the other one like is too good for me. Right now if I were to die in mysleep it would be better for everyone. I hate myself, and that's the kindest thing I can say about myself

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