The wallowing in my own manure is coming to an end, I'm no longer afraid of what might happen. I know that what ever has happened, I've got to move on from and either repent or correct my ways, I can not possibly go backwards. That isn't something which is easy, not under the circumstances. I've got to really find out the cause of my problems and then work on it. How to find out the problem is difficult as I'm scared to address the problem.

I'm almost drawn to the sky here, to describe my problems that is, but it's not a good example. I need to seek out better ways to describe what is going in my life, and to sort things out before drawing a correct comparrsion to this.

Anyway today's Saturday and it's fun just to be able to rest up a little and not have to be too concerned about work or anything. Of course Saturday is the traditional sports day over here in England and yes, there is a small matter of a huge soccer game at lunch time for us, but I'm not even nervous about that yet. I don't think I should be either, but it's something that isn't running my mind. That could be the AD's working I don't know? What I do know however is that I'm just so flat right now that I couldn't care less about anything.