Wasted

Rest is good, I'm finding that out right now, and I'm also finding a bit of self control. Yesterday's post is really interesting to say the least. For me not to be self critical is an achievement, but then half way through the day I became critical of myself for no reason what so ever. Am I just not happy with me?

The answer to that one would be the killer question in my life. I've never been 100% happy with myself, I think that much is obvious. My moods depends on how much I do like myself, and yet recently it hasn't been the case. I've just not given the issue much thought and that's helped me. However when self doubt appears the more I find myself wanting to sit and cry in the corner. I'm not perfect, far from it. In fact I'd quite happily tell you how ugly and how thick I am, and how much as a person I'm not. I'm a joke and I'm almost proud to say that.

However for a space of time of late I've not felt that way. I feel that I've moved on, I may not be happy with me, but I'm OK with me. Is this the start? I guess it could be. You know I may end up saying I love myself one day. That will probably be around the day I die, but hey it's something to look forward too. Still whilst I can focus on other people rather than myself then I am much more at ease with myself. Do I make sense? I thought not, still it's easier to understand the nutter when the nutter doesn't understand there own work.

So my post today isn't so comprehenable, but that's good isn't it? I mean every now and again I do show complete freedom of mind and constraints and it's always good to lose them. I have no fear, no problems and no concerns with this entry. If anything this is a waste of an entry, but that is OK on a day like today.